Published January 18, 2006
I’m a desecrated
Deflowered image of a soul
I feel it slowly fading
As I stand my solid ground
The echoes are reverberating
The truth will drag me down
I come to realize, that, in time,
I’ve become another cardboard cutout
An example to display in an art class
They have having faces up against the glass
Because all humans love tradegy
Goodbye, cruel world
And bid me my ‘morrow
For I can’t come to save today
I’ve wasted my whole life away
The good Samaritans do not faze me
They’ve come to train me,
They’ve come to stitch me together
And force me to face my own elements
I’m counting 1, 2, 3 and
Waging war on anicca
While trying to buy us some time
please forgive me, but if i didn't write something i'd shoot myself. =]
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,251 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
hahah that was the whole point - i know it was overrused. eh, thanks, though - really. it did help me
Things that worked
I’ve become another cardboard cutout
An example to display in an art class
(It's good because...well, good imagery I guess, great idea.)
While trying to buy us some time
(I don't know why that line...just sounds good.)
Things that didn't work
Goodbye, cruel world
(Argh, overused, overused! *covers face* Yeah, okay. You get the idea.)
Great work, I liked this. Not a great crit, I'm sorry! Gotta get back in the groove...